Just in case I suddenly drop dead due to exhaustion

I can’t sleep.

I am creating this blog entry to explain if I suddenly drop dead from exhaustion. I have always been nocturnal, but this is different. Usual sleeping time during vacations is 2 am; however, ever since that incident with my mom, sleeping time became 4 if I’m lucky. 6 am if I’m exceptionally unfortunate.

The last time I tried sleeping early ended terribly. I got into a fight with my mom and ever since, I feared sleeping early because it might repeat last week’s events. I am afraid that this time, no boundaries will be upheld as we fight each other to “death”. She would not stop at anything to hurt me if I answer back again. Scary right? It is even more scary that the next fight could actually break off this family altogether. 

I never wanna see that. Thus, best solution right now is to stay awake like a zombie. I am not exactly doing anything productive right now- mostly watching videos and the like. This is better than staying up late thinking while just lying on the bed.

I shall sleep again when I’m exhausted.

If it’s time to die, everything is in this blog. Or the tumblr one.

Dear sister I hope you’re reading this, you’ll know how to manipulate everything 🙂

Just in case. 

P.S. I am not suicidal!!

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